So, I just wanted to let all of you know, that I had to make a hard decision yesterday. And I’ve decided to end my juicing fast. There are a couple reasons for this decision, but I believe it’s the best one for me.
This however, does NOT mean I’m ending my healthy lifestyle change! In fact, I just got back from a grueling run!
I hope you will all continue to give me encouragment, it really helps me.
So, I smoked last night I know i know. It’s hard trying to quit all of your bad habits in one go. I feel like i can actually feel my body being cleansed. It’s the first time I haven’t had any food, OR tobacco. I’m feeling good. On and off nausea. and my organs are kind of gurggling and stuff. It’s kind of entertaining. haha
Thanks to all of you for keeping up with my story! 🙂
I weigh in every friday, so you’ll be finding out when I make progress.
I love all of you.
So.. For those of you who don’t know. My big brother, is a heroin addict. People tell me it’s a disease. And sometimes I agree. But other times.. Like today, I have a really really hard time believing that. I found out, that He stole my grandmothers house key, then waited for her to leave. Brought his druggie friend over to their house, and stole from their garage.. They wouldn’t have been caught only My grandpa came home early.. They stole stuff from the house.. My grandma’s ipod touch.. among other things. Now I know you guys don’t know my grandma, but here’s a basic description; She’s the nicest, most giving, caring, nurturing grandma in the world. She was the one good thing I had growing up. In a world of druggies and liars. Now no one in my family likes talking about bad things, so I knew when I hadn’t heard from anyone in a while, that I needed to go see what was wrong. When I went over to my grandmothers house yesterday, I found out what I knew I would.. Kevin was using again.
I didn’t expect however, to find out that he brought some stranger to steal our grandparents’ valuables.. I didn’t expect that he stole the keys weeks ahead of time, and planned all of it out to get his ‘fix’. I didn’t expect that he’d stoop so low as to take everything valuable he could, from the people who have only been kind and caring.. And believe me.. this isn’t the first time he’s stolen from us. As much as i’m pissed off. I’m three times that hurt. This one person, who knows how I grew up, and knows how horrible our parents were to us. The brother who spent all of his job savings on food, when our parents wouldn’t feed us one summer. He crossed a new line, and as much as I know I shouldn’t be. I was shocked..
Now, when I lock the doors, or leave my apartment. I find myself getting scared he’ll come here.. Try to take the laptops or phones, or xbox.. And It just makes me eternally sad that he’s gone so far down that path. That there isn’t any good in him.
So tell me, wordpress friends.. What are you supposed to do, when someone you love so much. Has taken too much, stolen too much, crossed too many lines, and broken everyone you love’s hearts..?
I’m still calling it day 3 even though yesterday I messed up and ate food.. I’m just going to add two days on the end of the fast. Ya know eating last night really made me realize that I don’t want food.. Like I ate a little bit, cause my mind had convinced me that’s what I wanted. And then My whole body felt groggy and gross. It made me realize how much better I feel on juice. How much more full, and happy, and content. I need to be on this fast. As long as it takes to rewire my brain to know that food does not equal comfort. Food only equals nourishment.
Stay strong. 🙂
So I’m really sorry to say.. I broke my fast.. I somehow talked myself (and my boyfriend as well) into getting a little thai food. That we didn’t need to juice every meal. And while that may be true for him.. I felt horrible after and still do… But. I have renewed my commitment with this beautiful orange health juice. And tomorrow is a new day. I’m trying not to dwell too much on my hiccup, and focus on the fact that I did get back on the wagon faster than ever.
Much love to those of you who are encouraging me on my journey. ❤
Kale is my new best friend, and I hate garlic more than I ever have before… I had a little mini drink of veggies before my walk this morning. (I’m refraining from working out but still want to keep moving a bit 🙂 ) Then my boyfriend made us a really amazing juice that has : Kale, carrots, beet, orange, watermelon, lemon, grapes! Oh my. It is really really tasty. We wanted to start out our full juice today with a little more sweet to it, because we had a really bad last juice that was garlicky and tasted dirty.. YUCK! I won’t be drinking anymore garlic. I felt really up and down’ie yesterday. One minute I was really awake, the next I was falling asleep. Then I felt bloated alll day. Which sucked and just makes me feel fatter. But I did it. I think this is the strictest new diet system I’ve ever tried to pull off. And I KNOW I will do it. Because the other choice is to eat the poisonous foods I was eating, and get bigger and bigger, and unhappier and unhappier.
That’s not the life I want. So yay, beginning of day 2! wish me luck guys. I’ll keep you posted.